This is a list of the magical spells and artifacts seen or described in the series. For the moment I'm leaving out superhuman feats of strength and speed, but including Drak's lycanthropy.
Wizards[]
All definite spells to date have been cast by Mirdon, Old World Wizard or Giligorf. Though the magical abilities of Meelog might also be wholly or partially achieved by spells, no spells were visibly cast. Old World Wizard is more powerful than Mirdon or Giligorf, who appears to be on about the same level.
Spells[]
Spells that are attempted and fail, or which the wizard aborts during casting, or which the wizard only claims to be able to cast, all count. When asked to list his spells Mirdon was only able to remember five, though he has demonstrated far more than that.
Some spells have a verbal component: the wizard calls out the spell's name as he casts, or babbles. Old World Wizard's spells seem to have no verbal component, Giligorf usually speaks in English, Mirdon's verbal components vary the most. Spell names are either English or Latin-sounding.
| Name of Spell | Verbal Component | Effect | Used By (Episodes) |
|---|---|---|---|
| Avalanche of Inconvenience | English | Rocks fall in front of the victim, who needs to step over them. | Mirdon (32, 42) |
| Column of Fire | English | Turns the leaves of a tree reddish-brown. Causes confusion. | Giligorf (32) |
| Explosio | Latin (Mirdon), None (Old World Wizard) | Hurls several nearby enemies away from the caster. Could be multiple spells. | Mirdon (13, 30, 49), Old World Wizard (23) |
| Googleus Hugleus (sp) | Latin | Enhances caster's senses, incidentally giving them oversized eyes, ears and nose. | Mirdon (43, 48, 49) |
| Lightning | Babbling or None (Mirdon) None (Old World Wizard) | Mirdon's favourite spell in his wizard school days. Could be multiple spells. Giligorf considered it to be dark magic. | Mirdon (4, 32), Old World Wizard (49) |
| Metallo Dusteezio | Latin | Transforms metal into dust. | Mirdon, failed (7) |
| Nose Noise/Wind of the North | English | Inflcts an annoying nose whistle on the victim. Can last months. | Mirdon (32, 49) |
| Power Beam | None or English | Hurls a single target away from the caster. Can be blocked by another Power Beam. A battle of power beams revealed to Mirdon that Old World Wizard was very strong. | Mirdon (23, 49), Old World Wizard (23), Giligorf (49) |
| River of Blood | English | A tendril grows into a flower with the face of a cow, which moos. Causes confusion. | Giligorf (32) |
| Screaming Cock | None | Manifests a rooster head that projects forward from Mirdon's staff and screams. It can actually knock down a nearby person. | Mirdon (47, 48, 49) |
| Serpentes Limbus | Latin | Transforms the victim's arms into snakes, which bite, apparently poison, and eventually eat the victim. Very upsetting to watch. | Mirdon (48, 49, 50) |
| Whirlwind | English | Unknown. Giligorf's favourite spell in his wizard school days. | Giligorf, aborted (32) |
| Unknown | None | A spell to locate someone on a map of Nudonia. | Mirdon - cast another spell by accident (43) |
| Unknown | None | Shatters object (e.g. flying boulder) into pieces. | Mirdon (12) |
| Unknown | None | Throws a small explosion at a target, or perhaps several in succession. | Old World Wizard (23) |
| Unknown | None | Green puff of smoke, inadequate for concealing an exit. | Giligorf (32) |
| Unknown | None | Yellow light blasts target. | Mirdon (37) |
| Unknown | None | Animates swords and throws them at a target. Could be the same as the spell used to telekinetically seize a sword? | Old World Wizard (49) |
| Unknown | None | Telekinetically grabs an object, such as a sword from a scabbard. Could be the same as the spell used to animate swords? | Old World Wizard (49) |
| Unknown | None | Opens a tranny hole. Hole is initially small but grows after about five minutes. | Giligorf (49) |
| Unknown | Babbling | Transforms a person into a beast. Drak, at least, seems to always transform into the same one. | Mirdon (28, 49) |
| Unknown | Unknown | Brings a person or cat back to life. Experimental and only partially successful: subject returns to life several times, briefly, catches fire, comes back to life and dies again, and explodes. | Mirdon (2, 21) |
| Unknown | Unknown | A thick yellow beam creates an explosion where it hits, can take out several targets. Could be the same spell as Lightning, or the unknown yellow light spell. | Mirdon (50) |
Magical Abilities[]
Meelog has the power to create magical warriors to serve him, such as the wooden army (Episodes 27, 29, 30) and a stone golem in Episode 37. This ability is partly mediated by his control of an orb.
The Fortune Teller can predict the future with the aid of a crystal ball. Old World's Wizard's actions are guided by the vision of Lord Lazzerzazzerzazzerzazzer.
Mirdon controls enslaved pigeons capable of putting up posters.
Mirdon knows at least two magical recipes, one of which is for frying fish.
Two characters have demonstrated the ability to return from the dead. Titanus was killed by Neebs in Episode 4, returned in Episode 26, was killed by Neebs a second time in Episode 27, returned in Episode 43, and was killed by Neebs a third time in Episode 44. The Old World Wizard was perhaps killed in Episode 23 and returned about eighty seconds later, then was definitely killed in Episode 23, returned in Episode 49, and was killed again the same episode. In each case the returned body bears the scars of the death wound(s).
Barat had been thought to be unkillable. The staff of Arzon Prison attempted to kill him every day for a long time without success, implying he was at least immune to all the usual methods of killing people and probably to many obscure ones. Then by chance Barat was stung by a bee, suffered an allergic reaction and died. When told of this, Old World Wizard refused to believe it.
Magical Afflictions[]
Drak suffers from lycanthropy, presumably so does the monster who infected him.
In Episode 45 a group of villages were overrun by zombies known as The Undead.
Magical Artifacts[]
The Zephyr Blade is seen in Episodes 1 and 10, and used in Episode 44. The Lady in the Lake offered Doraleous a biscuit, claiming it was the Zephyr Blade: the Fortune Teller later mentioned a Zephyr biscuit, suggesting the biscuit may have been magical.
Several other artifacts are mentioned in the Book of Pooter in Episode 10: The Bow of Eternity, the Staff of Light and the Ring of Ice.
Scattered throughout Nudonia and the Old World are "about" seven tranny holes, which once allowed rapid travel over long distances. All the tranny holes in Nudonia have been destroyed but Giligorf, working for the Old World Wizard, was able to partially reopen tranny hole number four.
Harry Pooter controls a magic broom that allows him to fly but normally leaves it in his locker at Shackleton Wizard School rather than carry it with him.
Mirdon's staff glows to provide light in Episode 38.